best week ever = 20th may

Krinkleting – 20^th may

• Webcam is ruining my life. I spent way too much time on webcam instead of studying for my exam. Sarah spent way too much time on webcam instead of doing her dr studying. We are going to fail our degrees.

• I was feeling rather low on Wednesday, it was raining outside and I wanted to go and stand in it. I asked Tarren to come with me and I stood in the rain with no shoes or coat on. I then laid down on the floor and just let the rain wash over me and all the negativity go. I then off-loaded a few of my problems onto Tarren. Poor Tarren. I cried a little and proceeded to climb the 4 flights of stairs to my room where I drank half bottle of vodka.

• I drank a bottle of vodka in two days. I do not remember much about those two days, but I am sure I had fun.

• I have finished my 2^nd year of university! I sat my last exam on Friday

• Said exam gave me a panic attack. I sat down, opened it up and started to read – but I couldn't understand any of the words and started to think it was some strange tense I've not learned yet and was going to fail thanks to webcam. But they had just given me the Spanish exam instead of the French. You have to love how everything is so amazingly well organised in my life.

• Before my exam, I laid in the hallway dramatically shouting that I had narcolepsy and a broken arm and zebra disease and therefore should get mitigated circumstances and not have to sit the exam.

• I had fun at work on Saturday. I was sat on the basket til with some cool people, despite the fact that I had to serve customers, I had a laugh.

• Donna moved out, and and and I have her mattress. This is possibly the happiest thing that has happened to me in my whole life because everyones beds are thin, hard, foam mattresses and I've had so many sleeping problems due to this. But we swapped before she left and now it is mine =) =) =) it is so comfy! I'm finally going to have the wonderful ability to sleep once again.

• It was the Pharmacy ball on Saturday night. It was wonderful and yvonne got me very drunk. Ha. We danced and danced and danced and laughed at lot. I now have a secret too which is funny but I cannot tell anyone. =D

• This morning, I woke up really hung over. I went to work and had to get off my checkout because I was going to be sick. I am sometimes really sexy. Then I had my break and ate hoola hoops and started to feel much better, which was good because the Team Leader made me supervise the checkouts while she went and covered the others break around the other checkouts. I told a girl off for not staying on her till. It was good, I won. The customers love me, when I am confident about what I am doing I am really organised, confident and capable and I feel like when my confidence kicks in (it has done a hell of a lot in the past 3 months) I could easily have a job with a lot of responsibility or be a manager – as long as I am well trained and learn not to doubt my abilities. That is a good realisation to get.

• The internet at university is dead! So I came home, haha. Addict much? I was going to come maybe Tuesday because I had so much things I never use in my room and needed to bring back to start my move home, so it's not as bad as it sounds!

• I told my mum how I love that when I come home, I cause so much choas and mess and then leave the next day. I am ruining their life. She lol'ed at me =O. Gosh.

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Poem of the week.
This is one of my personal favourite poems, when you really look at it and come to learn the relevence of the things inside it, you really learn to appriciate it.

Lady Lazarus - Syliva Plath I have done it again. One year in every ten I manage it---- A sort of walking miracle, my skin Bright as a Nazi lampshade, My right foot A paperweight, My face a featureless, fine Jew linen. Peel off the napkin 0 my enemy. Do I terrify?---- The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth? The sour breath Will vanish in a day. Soon, soon the flesh The grave cave ate will be At home on me And I a smiling woman. I am only thirty. And like the cat I have nine times to die. This is Number Three. What a trash To annihilate each decade. What a million filaments. The peanut-crunching crowd Shoves in to see Them unwrap me hand and foot The big strip tease. Gentlemen, ladies These are my hands My knees. I may be skin and bone, Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman. The first time it happened I was ten. It was an accident. The second time I meant To last it out and not come back at all. I rocked shut As a seashell. They had to call and call And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls. Dying Is an art, like everything else, I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I've a call. It's easy enough to do it in a cell. It's easy enough to do it and stay put. It's the theatrical Comeback in broad day To the same place, the same face, the same brute Amused shout: 'A miracle!' That knocks me out. There is a charge For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge For the hearing of my heart---- It really goes. And there is a charge, a very large charge For a word or a touch Or a bit of blood Or a piece of my hair or my clothes. So, so, Herr Doktor. So, Herr Enemy. I am your opus, I am your valuable, The pure gold baby That melts to a shriek. I turn and burn. Do not think I underestimate your great concern. Ash, ash --- You poke and stir. Flesh, bone, there is nothing there---- A cake of soap, A wedding ring, A gold filling. Herr God, Herr Lucifer Beware Beware. Out of the ash I rise with my red hair And I eat men like air.