Krinkleting - 6th may 2007

May 6^th

• Went out on Sunday night at 11:30 randomly, went to FLARES and it was wonderful because I love flares, all the best people go to flares. Then I went back to Forster halls for an after party with my friends and we drank more and they turned me into a human catapult by putting me on a swivel chair and hurling me at a student-made ramp which was previously for some disabled person.

• On Monday I went to tesco, Janet took a photo of me and Donna in front of said tesco and a man was in this car laughing. I said 'that man is happy because we are having fun and he wants to have fun too' and then he laughed even more.

• It was really sunny on tuesday, I handed my essays in (yay) and did my washing, Donna and I decided to sit outside in the sun and revise. I thought it couldnt get any more perfect than that, until we noticed one of the cars had been clamped. Anyone who knows me will know I love the clampman and his clamps. Apart from the time he clamped me. Everyone should need how it feels to be clamped. It' just one of those emotions you have to experience in life. It was amazing.

• Then we went to Lister Park and sat on the grass with our work, the wind blew and about 40 sheets of Janets revision blew down the park, she ran ofter it. Then Donna helped. Then I took my camera out and snapped a photo. I need to learn to be quicker.

• I got my oral and interpreting over with. After my oral, I walked back into the language resource centre, into the side room where Liz was and threw myself on the floor. I've never felt so relieved in my entire life, it was overwhelming.

• Liz said I was nice to her that day, she still had to wait an hour to do hers and was kinda freaking out a bit.

• I've noticed that people call me babe all the time. In bars, the women will be like 'here's your drink babe', then when I handed my essay in the woman was like 'do you have work to submit, babe'. It happens all the time and then I asked some other people, and apparently it doesn't happen to them. So maybe I am a babe. Cool. Discuss.

• I had the most amazing Saturday of my entire lift. I want to do it again. I went to the ampitheatre with Donna, we sat on the grass, watched others play sport at the bottom amongst the other students and it was calming and amazing.

• Then we went to my friends Liz's BBQ and gatecrashed. He housemates are my best friends I love them and they love me.

• Then we left, we saw Janet on the way back and decided to go to walkabout and danced loads. I was drunk but not stupidly drunk and I remember everything and I didnt want to leave EVER but had to as I work sundays and Donna wanted to go. It's always the best time to leave when you are having fun because it means you love it even more. I did I did I loved it.

• I had to serve some chavs at work, they bought £350 of stuff and paid in cash, they looked like drug dealers so the team leader checked the money beforeI accepted it and all the managers were watching, they were acting so strange and the woman pulled out about £4000 worth of twenty pound notes from her pocket, and as my team leader was checking to make sure they were real the man was like 'it's real I've worked all week for that' and the woman was like 'it's nobody's business'. They were real edgy about getting out of the shop though. Lolz. I nearly had a panic attack it was way cool.

• Kallum – do you have a safer tag or a knife?
  Me – Oh, yes I have the knife that I carry around with me.
  All the time.
  It's so I can stab you.
  When you get in the snoil.
  Kallum – you scare me sometimes.

• Jenny – you sit like a freak, yay (I have my legs cross and up in my checkout)
  Me – yes
  Jenny – don't you get pins and needles?
  Me – No, but my legs go numb and then I put my foot on the floor and can't feel the ground, it freaks me out it's fun.
  Jenny – You're a strange character.
  (I should note that this Jenny is a different person from the one I mentioned last week)

• Tarren is home. Tarren is home. Tarren is home. YAY.

Poem of the week :
Poem of Low Latitudes by Mike Dockins

Let's crumple calendars, smash watches.

Let's throw ropes around the Moon,
never stop swallowing its linens.

Let's recline the way the horizon does,
every evening, yawning across Tropic lines.

Let's fill a hammock with limes.

Let's fall asleep on the reef,
stare up through clear water at trembling stars.

Let's climb a coconut tree & squeal like monkeys.

Let's ride a trade wind like paper airplanes.

Let's watch the sky wheel & wheel
from under straw hats.

Let's count a billion stars,
lose track at a billion minus one, then start over,
until we glitter with white sand.

Let's tumble together until the earth is flat.

Let me sail like Magellan into you,
unfold the maps of your roundness.

Let's hope for the volcano.

Let's reinvent the godless universe ballooning.

Let's crawl into a conch shell
& bang on a bongo.

Let's build a bonfire
that boils away the atmosphere.

Let's sublimate, evaporate, condense.

Let's get drunk on the real stars—
helium engines strumming
our own cores to a glow.

Let me wear your warm skin.

Let's simplify: skin, nerve, synapse, nucleus,
hydrogen, quark, the unpronounceable....