Poetry Thursday: My Terabithia

I watched the movie 'Bridge To Terabithia' on Tuesday night - It's pretty much the most amazing film I have ever seen. The trailer does not even do it justice. The cast were amazing, the effects were amazing but not too overdone, the story line was magical and beautiful. This is a film I shall watch over and over for the rest of my life. It was inspiring and exactly how I was as a child.

For todays 'thursday musings' -
I see my life as a learning process, I view it as an adventure full of dreams that come true and nightmares that happen. I've come to understand the importance of sadness and despair - you cannot live in a world where positive exists and negative is extinct. If such a world did exist, it would be rather 'neutral', boring and full of no meaning, void of all goals. There is no 'happiness' if there is no sadness to compare it with. The concept of Good is lost in a black hole without an understand and the presence of Evil. The trick is to use each negative experience as if it's a page from the big old Book of Life. You learn about yourself, you expand your ability to grow in to a more solid person of the 'you' which was prior, you learn who your real friends are and it helps you appreciate the positive things in love when they come around (and they will).

I do not know if I believe in God, but if He is out there, I'm a strong believer that poverty, evil and natural disasters happen for a reason. Poverty allows us to experience compassion for those suffering, it allows us the choice of trying to help others. Natrual disaster brings communities together = it shows peoples true colours - we pray, we hope, we give money to charity, we hold silence, we come together. A world that was perviously full of faceless strangers suddenly becomes a community of human beings with big personalities and even bigger hearts - it brings out the best in most people.

So the negative experiences insures we are able to feel emotions, which is what life is about, which is what makes us humans. Evil makes us become stronger, more grounded people. Sadness, hurting, bad events are necessary.

This week I have decided to stop letting people hurt me and get away with it. For a long time I believed in just letting everything go and keep quiet, as to not cause drama, confrontation and upset. This eventually led to me holding a lot of hostility within this skin - anger has a funny way of turning into hate, and hate has a funny way of turning into self-hate when allowed to fester. Feelings always end up being turned on myself. I allowed people to walk all over me. I'm not going to hold grudges, I do not want negativity in my life - but when somebody upsets me, shouts at me, acts towards me in a way that is out of line, I will take some time to think (but not obsess) and then tell that person it's not okay to treat me in that way. If they listen, I can let it go and carry on with the relationship. If they don't, then they are simply not worth my time if they don't see my feelings and my upset as valid.

I'm not going to allow myself to be treated in some of the ways I have been treated in my life. Everyone has people who treat them like crap at some point - that is unavoidable and beyond my (or their) control. But how I (and you) deal with it is within your control.

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Poetry Thursday this week is inspired by 'the randomizor' on poetrythursday.org

We are taproots.

I will not panic in the absence,

of your xanax hair that makes you feel like those things

you try to believe in. Like your humor,

like your smile, like you're inflated to the bigger person

you wish to chew on

without letting the fat cells sink

to thigh-level and your skull

to sky-level.

Your scowl is the one thing

that makes my eyes turn into spiral stairs

at 8am. We are more than car park friends now,

I wait in phone boxes and you sit on rooftops

with your theorem-lids vomiting sleep --

you should not let them hit the ground,

we do not know this gravel well.

You speak in half truths --

you say I'm a victim of finger nails

that bleed like water fountains.

You say I am fourteen and lost

inside a house of mirrors. You say

I collect mistakes for the sake of a story,

for the sake of a laugh, for the sake of a desperate poem

that I will not-send to you,

but I imagine your reaction anyway.